My own personal Pisa…
One might think that someone drowning under a landslide of laundry would be able to find something to wear at any given moment.
Nö. Nicht der Fall.
ANZEIGE
This is why I was running late to the last mom’s group lunch — because I was trying on all of the clothes in that top Leaning Tower of Pisa pic, but nothing fit right. everything was too small.
This is probably one of those instances where my inside thoughts must not be outside thoughts, because I feel self-absorbed and selfish even contemplating something like this, but I need to know if I’m the only person who’s had these thoughts in such terrific Detail…
It’s been two years considering that Connor popped out of my body, and for two years I’ve held on to my pre-pregnancy clothes.
ANZEIGE
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I’ve tried to squeeze into my old pants and shorts a few times considering that then, but… Well, it didn’t work. My body is completely different now.
Before Connor, I just assumed that by the time she was two years old I’d be able to get back into those clothes again. other mommies have told me that your hips and ribs eventually shift back to where they had been before, but I don’t think that’s gonna happen for me at this point. everything is just broader than it used to be. My hips, my booty, my upper body. Alles.
Part of me knows I need to turn the page and build a new wardrobe at my current size, because, well…even though I don’t fit into those old clothes anymore, I’m normally delighted with my body. Yes, I look different than I used to, but I’m physically stronger than I was when I was skinnier a few years ago, and I kill IT when we do burpies and weighted switch lunges in HITT class. Oh, and is that a heavy sand bag?? Yeah, I can press that bad kid over my head!
When you casually try to take a selfie in HIIT class but end up making a funny face because everyone is poking fun at you for taking said selfie in class… (Winged liner Tee from my store, connorclaire.com)
I may have been able to fit into my short shorts back then, but I know I wasn’t strong enough to do things like that.
My current tee shirt and pant size are the largest I’ve ever worn, and often I wonder if I must keep battling against that, or accept it. I don’t know if accepting the size I am ideal now is me just giving up.
Even though I’m delighted with where I’m at, I feel like I must keep trying to get back into those clothes, which sounds like a contradiction, I know, but yeah, I am conflicted! I don’t know what to do! LOL. part of me thinks, “I can do it. Ich weiss ich kann.”
But do I want to? Do I care that much? Ist es nötig? Am I just being vain?
Part of me also doesn’t want to (well, it wants to, but it doesn’t think it should) get a bunch of new clothes now because Connor will be starting preschool in a few months, and girl, childcare in America is kein Witz! We hear that all the time, and it has become a cliché, but kids. Wirklich. Gibt. Teuer.
Also, at this point, I don’t even know why I must bother to look cute. half the time I have food or crayon on my clothes anyway. It’s a lot more that I’m getting of worn out of looking like I wear pajamas all day long. I just feel better when I look sharp and less slovenly.
Ugh…I must probably just wait for one of LOFT’s 50% off sales and get a few things to tide myself over.
Was denken Sie? Am I just being selfish? must I keep holding on to my old clothes? Is it unhealthy for me to care about being small enough to fit into them again?
ANZEIGE
Anyway, thanks for listening. Somebody, anybody, please talk some sense into me!
Ihr freundlicher Nachbarschaftsberichtszusatz,
Karen